Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t think a sign of maturing is acting like an adult. Rather, it is protecting the child in you while forced to be an adult. And I think Forest is a true example of that.
People who meet Forest for the first time can quickly identify some key traits – he is introverted in most contexts, a logical thinker who happens to major in engineering, a good student, and, perhaps, a rather mature person. But on top of people being complicated and the misleading nature of first impressions, I regard Forest as someone who is also deeply sentimental and deeply childish. He is not an easy person to befriend, often carrying a defensive wall around him. But he values loyalty, and often offers loyalty back to those that proves safe. For one, look at his now 7-year relationship with his first and only girlfriend Kerry. This alone should prove that he is more than your typical engineer archetype.
I retell this story to Forest all the time. But I still remember the period in which Forest encountered a brief hiccup in his relationship. It was the summer of 2022. As both of us returned to London that September after spending a year living together, Forest was quietly determined to win back his girlfriend while they were on a temporary break. After we got settled down in our new residences, Forest and I checked out a popular Ramen restaurant near his new place. As we sat down after a long wait, Forest and I, in rare fashion, shared a great childlike conversation about our worries. Forest was never great with words or expressing his emotions, but I could tell that this “break” was affecting him more than he showed (as it should). I started asking him about this relationship and whether he plans on moving on. I started asking him his type and what his ideal relationship would look like. At one point, I asked him, “Do you believe in the one? Having one girl out there meant for you?” In which he paused and looked away for a second, and replied, “I thought she was the one until now.” Unlike that night which ended in disappointing and mediocre Ramen, Forest’s story ended in a happy fashion like a love story should. After brief windows of Forest trying to move on by buying new clothes, cologne, and going to the gym, he and Kerry eventually talked it out and is still running strong.
I always kid Forest how that was the last interesting and genuine conversation we ever had.
(By the way, if you want to really know a guy, try talking to him through heartbreak, that is when you really know who someone is.)
Buffett once said about his approach to hiring rested on three pillars: intelligence, energy, and integrity. But Warren just added the first two because naming stuff in threes sounds better. In the end, it’s all about integrity. Because if you have someone who is corrupted, you want them dumb and lazy, not smart and enthusiastic. And although Forest is smart and disciplined, he is, most importantly, a high-integrity person. He doesn’t enjoy relying on others and craves independence. He is also highly opinionated, with his own clear sense of what the world is.
In many ways, I see many parallels between Forest and me. We are both very stubborn in our ideals, that, when clashes, no one is willing to back down. But in the rare situations where we agree, we are highly in sync, often complementing each other (I remember us partnering in high school TOK class and would often finish our project much more efficiently than others).
Forest is probably job hunting in London like many others right now. But I predict that in the end it is very difficult to keep Forest at any single company. He does not suffer fools easily. Has a high ego. And again, can be extremely stubborn out of what he wants in life. I think in the end, Forest may be disappointed in what he sees and carve out his own path.
I remember one time Forest telling me he thinks he is quite smart (lol). And I agree. But not in the way that he thinks. I think intelligence refers to a person’s ability to get what he wants out of life. There is two parts to that equation: knowing what you want, and doing what it takes to get it. If you look at Forest’s short life so far, I know that he has very high expectations in his education and career. Hence, he has put a lot of effort into school and got the highly qualified degrees and schools that he deserves. But, more importantly, and this is reflected in the sentimental side of me, I think keeping his relationship still running after 7 years is a really smart thing to do. I hope there is a happy ending to all this, as I know he secretly expects to. But as he would tell you on the outside, you never know with life. And that is certainly true.
I’ve recently be in a rut. And it can be quite difficult when you think you’re stagnant while others are moving forward with their life – especially in a post-grad or near post-grad era. But you know, if you’re going to love something, or someone, you’ve got to love their totality – the smooth sides and the rough edges. And if you’re going to love life itself, sure it’s going to hard once in a while, and absurd, depressing even. But God doesn’t play dice…and it is no coincidence that the night is followed by sunrise. And that any suffering you might feel, any pain that you deem may be too much for your spirit, there is always love and happiness out there that can equalize even the worst evil – it is a matter of faith.
I don’t know why I mentioned that…I guess what I am trying to say is that I think Forest recently is also a bit anxious and worried about his future. Like many others, the demand and supply forces of the market are incredibly unfavorable for students, and Forest is sharing similar struggles despite being a great student. I also believe Forest thinks he needs to ace in person interviews to get a great opportunity. But I think his track record speaks more than an arbitrary interview. And if that alone doesn’t warrant good opportunities, it’s not the end of the world to be a little more philosophical about these things.
I want to share an anecdote that I hope Forest will forgive me for sharing: Forest lost his father at relatively young age, I remember he became ill right before our IB exams. And despite the unforgiving nature of life, I have rarely heard Forest use that tragedy as an excuse or play the victim. That speaks volume to who he is. They always say that a boy becomes a man when he becomes the strongest person at his father’s funeral…and you know, as Murakami said, “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
If you’re going to love someone, you’ve got to love them for who they are. And despite Forest’s many flaws (which I share), like being a bad communicator, to a point where I’ve heard people label him as “mysterious” or even “boring”, having stubborn opinions and sometimes a reactive temperament that I think is not ideal for markets, and his disinterest in many of the topics I find fascinating, he has virtues that are worth these flaws – he has an insatiable curiosity to topics he enjoy, a rigorous intellect, and a courage to step out of his comfort zone. His generosity and kinship to others are hidden behind small acts, always down to chip in when surprising friends when gifts but doesn’t stand in the spotlight for credits and is not shy to give credit to others when credit is due despite his ego. He has a good sense of humor and often laughs with us to the point of crying (which is a great litmus test for character imo).
I’ve shared many memories with Forest since university, from sharing the same flat, playing FIFA games and watching Champions league together, to cooking and figuring out new recipes and eating hotpot with friends, we have spent a lot of time in London (though not enough) together, talking, and sharing similar struggles. Like Buffett proposed, imagine if you can go “long or short on a person in your class, say getting a quarter of their lifelong earnings,” who would you choose? In the end, although intellect and discipline and all that can be important, you would short the asshole and long the person who isn’t.
It would be wise to buy the Forest stock. And seemingly, I am not the only one who agrees, 7 years is only 3 shy to a decade.
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