In 1967, two psychologists conducted a semi-cruel experiment on some very cute dogs. They divided these puppies into two categories – the escape group and the non-escape group. In both categories, these dogs were repeatedly shocked. In the escape group, the dogs could press a button to stop their suffering, while in the non-escape group, well, they just suffered.
The psychologists then put them into a box divided by a barrier in the middle. The dogs were first put onto one side of the box where they will be shocked. But if they simply crossed the barrier in the middle to the other side, the shocks would stop. As it turned out, the dogs who were put in the escape group did jump to the other side, escaping hell, while most of the dogs in the non-escape group previously didn’t even bother to try.
As some of you would have already predicted, my wise-assery intend to use this analogy to make a grandiose life observation.
The ovarian lottery dictates that we were given the opportunity at life (which, like those cute puppies, we did not consent to. But let’s be optimistic and assume life is more than repeatedly blows and shocks that we cannot escape from) under incredibly arbitrary circumstances. The hands that we are dealt can vary to extreme degrees – take me for example, what are the chances in any other era that a kid who was born in Shanghai will end up writing personal blogs in English?
The logical conclusion from this fact of life is that everyone should, for both ourselves and for society, play those hands to the best of our ability instead of whining for a reshuffle. But that’s not as easy as it seems. And for one, we should ask ourselves, “are we at prey of learned helplessness, just like those cute little puppies?” Where does your values come from? Your temperament? What type of person are you attracted to and what life decisions you made – these are all seemingly independent choices. Yet just like the dogs who don’t even try to escape, there may be unconscious forces influencing your everyday identity.
Don’t believe me? Check out this nice trick that this so-called mentalist did to seemingly smart finance bros: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO0daH7IHLY&t=520s
Watch till the end – did you spot the trick he used to make the hosts say Lego?
Over the years, I slowly came to realize that a lot of my demeanor has been shaped by my upbringing (as evident in some blog posts). And I’ve tried to devote time and energy to look through the smoke and find the real me. For example, to some extent, I have lived a solitary life so far and haven’t entered into a serious relationship (while hypocritically stressing the importance of love) – that probably has a correlation to the love-less marriage that I grew up under and thus my problem with intimate relationships. Or my propensity and ambition for an individual business is probably influenced by my father who went through a similar route – and also, my comfortable upbringing probably affected my spending habits that differ significantly to my peers.
In many ways, I too, have been the victim of conditioning.
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An intelligent individual may recognize all of this in themselves, and come to the conclusion, “I need to remove all this out all my life.” But I disagree. The solution is not to run away, but to accept, embrace, and create something new of it. Finish the half-formed canvas you received and treat it as an independent art project. To quote Nietzsche (sorry, again, I know, wise-assery alert), “This is the most effective way: to let the youthful soul look back on life with the question, “What have you up to now truly loved, what has drawn your soul upward, mastered it and blessed it too? ‘Set up these things that you have honored before yourself, and maybe, they will show you, in their being and their order, a law which is the fundamental law of your own self.”
The world is a terribly sad place. I have been to a few funerals in my life where I confronted the absurdity of death. I mean, just take a second and reflect on all the regrets you have in your life – life decisions that you should’ve chose differently which maybe would’ve resulted in a much different, and potentially better reality, for present you. I guess for the current generation looking for employment, it’s easier to think about, “What if I tried harder in school? Or in spring week, looking for internships…” Depression, loneliness, the kids who are born next to a Mongolian coal mine and must grow up in a capitalist camp in the middle of a dessert.
Indeed…instead of labelling it as the ovarian lottery, it might be the birth of tragedy.
Schopenhauer concluded that life is suffering – which is depressing – but he makes an interesting observation to cope with this conclusion: he said that humans have this uncontrollable urge to rebel and provide meaning to absurdity. That we are almost genetically programmed to not kill ourselves, to find meaning in the mundane – just like the jury in the scene of the Stranger who tries to provide an absurd explanation to Meursault’s murder. Perhaps, you, right now, reading these words, the pessimism doesn’t register. “Suffering” doesn’t affect you as it should – if you are simply looking forward to finishing this blog to go on with your day, Schopenhauer is right, we can’t help it – we are Sisyphus.
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Last Sunday morning, I ordered some egg tarts and was ready to tune in to watch UFC 311. It was originally a great card with Islam Makhachev and Arman Tsarukyan headlining the event while Islam’s cousin, the unbeaten Umar Nurmagomedov challenging Merab Dvalishvili for the Bantamweight bout. I was looking at the odds before the match and recognized that the fun match was going to be the co-main event. Everybody had Umar as the favorite, as he had a perfect record, is incredibly skilled, and also happens to be the cousin of one of the GOATs of the sport. Everybody concluded that Merab was going to lose the battle on the feet as his striking was way inferior than that of Umar’s (who started Muay Thai at a young age). And people were right, as the fight started, Umar was out-striking Merab and landed the cleaner punches. By the start of the third round (out of 5), Merab was down 2-0.
What happened over the next 3 rounds was one of the best displays of heart and the will to win I have ever seen inside an octagon.
Although being a horrible and uncharismatic orator, Merab tried to give an inspiring speech with his broken English after the win, “Umar is tough fighter. And he is good. But he called me old. Yes I am old, but I am working everyday. I am a hard worker. I believe in old school. People…please, don’t let them bully you. Don’t underestimate you. Believe in yourself. And everything is possible. Please don’t let them break you. Because whole world is against me. I was underdog. But you know what I was thinking…I don’t give a shit. I believe in myself. I believe in my hard work.”
I predict Merab will lose in the rematch. But for the moment, I thought his performance was the perfect analogy to what individualization is – he was showboating throughout the entire night, dancing, taunting, talking to people outside the octagon, yet never betrayed himself. Despite his awkward striking (which many people would label as a weakness), he embraced it, combined it with his insane cardio, and created an inspiring performance against a Goliath.
That is what being human means – to devote yourself to the rebellion.
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What is your favorite color? Why is it your favorite? Do you really know yourself – what makes you die laughing on the floor and what scene triggers a sad look in your eyes? Do you know the origin story of your name? The street you lived on; the city; what you were like as a child…your favorite hobby…your first crush…when were you the happiest as a child?
Are you just uttering words or are you expressing yourself – are we, in the end, just puppies who never made that leap to the other side?
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“On one given night, you can get into that ring, and you can even the playing field. No matter who you are. No matter what your background. If you’re determined enough. If you’ve trained hard enough. You have 36 minutes. 36 minutes to make life fair!” – Teddy Atlas
On one given night, you can make life fair. Be a rebel.
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