I think courage is one of the most important qualities a person can have. It separates those on the sidelines and those in the arena. One common denominator of those around me that live an engaged and interesting life is that they’re not afraid to try – they started a new hobby; they went to an event that they’ve never been to; and tried new things that they wouldn’t else try. They’ve put themselves on the line.
I don’t say this with the intention to insult them, but I’ve found that this trait is often lacking in people we conventionally consider smart. Some of the best students, with the best grades, are often too comfortable in their own comfort zone. They are too glued to their own perception of the world and never made the effort to try something different. I’ve found that I too share this limitation.
Which is why I really admire courageous people. And I want to give a shoutout to some of my friends who I think display such quality – Dan, Filip, and Bryan.
Dan, who is now in Kobe, Japan, decided to move there after university for a graduate job. She never lived there. Nor do she speak Japanese. And for those who ever been to Japan, you’ll understand how impressive that is. It is not easy to acclimate into such a close-minded and collectivistic culture. But that didn’t stop her. Dan, if you’re reading this, hats off to you.
She also told me a story of how she almost pulled out a machete when her family restaurant was almost robbed. Lol.
You’ll meet few people in your life who makes more of an effort than Filip. He’ll socialize with people from all walks of life. Makes plans with them regularly. And is always down to go to events and do new things. After one of our first get togethers, he pulled out his phone for a selfie. I asked him what it’s for and he said it’s for his diary. If he ever shows you his diary, you’ll wonder where he gets all his energy from.
Oh, and by the way, if you’re a girl he’s seeing, he’ll bring you flowers at the airport too. I think that’s bravery personified.
Speaking of flowers and girls, I should bring up Bryan.
For those who don’t know, Bryan did not have amazing grades in school. But one day, he decided that was that. And before the final years of high school came round, he went all in. A few years later, he was the school captain, student athlete of the year, and enrolled into one of the best business schools in Canada. Another few years passed, he has now been a dedicated lifter for several years and just finished an internship at the biggest bank in Canada. All of this was deliberate. Nothing was handed to him.
He recently mentioned to me how he felt he was falling off the wagon and lost focus. And yet he still brought up starting a new finance club at university in order to meet people. His unfocused periods are more productive than most I know.
When I was a young boy, I would almost always be silent on the dinner table. It didn’t really matter if I was at home or outside. I was either eating, staring off into space, or on my phone playing games. When my mother would bring me out, other adults applauded me for my manners. They said they’ve never met a kid who never cried when they were out with strangers. Of course, I didn’t understand their compliment then. My mother told me this several years later.
Often times you’ll find people rarely change. And that shy boy became the introverted teenager. I was always in my own head and never left my comfort zone. I would rarely talk to new people. And if I knew I liked something, I would just stick with it – a habit that has stuck with me to this day.
But I like to think over the years I became better at this. I used to be an overthinker. And now I find myself doing things more and thinking a little less. It’s not something I’ve mastered yet, but I do think I’m heading in the right direction.
One of the greatest things in life is to find people who are better than you. Find people who have qualities you don’t. Over time, you start to move in their direction.
One of my favourite lines in Kipling’s poems is when he ended his most infamous piece with:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!
“If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, you’ll be a man, my son!” I love that line. I think courage in life comes down to effort. The intentionality. The builders in life. Those who are not afraid to get up and go after their dreams.
And it doesn’t matter what others say. Because they don’t have a right to judge. At the end of the day, there are those in the arena and those on the sidelines. Those who complain about their circumstances, they are the takers.
Those that give back to the world, those that go out and realise life is malleable and they can create something out of it, they are the givers.
Be a giver, not a taker.
And if you need a little extra motivation to stay brave today, I want to share with you what my favourite comedian Norm Macdonald ended with in his book. He had cancer but told no one. He continued to serve the audience when his boss threatened his job. He was a maverick on the stage. And he looked life headlong, right in the eyes, and never backed down. Enjoy:
“The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes by fast, real fast. And if you’re not careful it’s too late. Of course, the young will never understand this truth. And as for my gambling it is true that I have lost it all a few times. But that’s because I always took the long shot and never came in. And if you’re at the table and you’re rolling them bones, there’s no money in playing it safe. You have to take all your chips and put them on double six and watch as every eye goes to you, and then to those red dice, doing their wild dance and freezing time before finding the cruel green felt.
I’ve been lucky.”
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